I was in a funk the other night. So I made some popcorn and crawled into bed with the iPad. I wanted to get lost in a movie. I needed some counseling of sorts, which reminded me of my friend, Doug. He was my consigliere. I wanted to talk to him. Every movie seemed ridiculous. Nah. Nah. Nope. I just kept munching on my corn and said, let the movie find you. And it did. I settled on a mini doc from 2017 called Ram Dass, Going Home. I watched it, and I paused, and I cried. This is what I learned, and transcribed, while eating popcorn:

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We are souls. As souls, we are not under time or space. We are, infinite. 

Just try following your breath. And anytime a thought arises, notice it, and then go back to the breath. Each time your awareness is drawn away from the breath, bring it back. 

No more plans. Going nowhere.

Nature is my friend.

Truth, love, consciousness. That's what God is to me. Just consciousness.

My life has been a dance between power and love. First part, power. I thought power was the end all, be all, because I was a little individual. After drugs (psychedelics) it was love, love, love, love, love. My life went from roles to soul. 

The great way is not difficult for those that have no preferences. 

Before the stroke, I had written a book that was called "How can I help?" After the stroke, I would have titled the book "How can you help me?" In this culture, dependency is a no-no. The stroke showed me dependency. And I have people that are dependable. My stroke makes it hard to play the cello. It's difficult to play golf. Those things are out there, and I'm in here (pointing to his heart). The stroke pushed me inside, even more, and it's so wonderful. I don't wish you the stroke, but I wish you the grace from the stroke. My guru told me the stroke would be grace. When I met the Maharaj-ji, it was unconditional love. It was wonderful to be loved that way. And I said, I'm home, I'm home. A guru is the doorway to God, to consciousness, to the One Love. With psychedelics, the Maharaj-ji said you can go into the room in which Christ and Buddha exist, but you only stay a few minutes, a few minutes. Everytime I would sit with Maharaj-ji, time would stop, it was like a moment expanded. He lived in eternity. 

Most of what we encounter are thoughts. I project not only the names but values, which is about judging everything. Without those projections, I can see everything. 

Life is but a dream. The incarnation is a dream. This incarnation suggests there are other incarnations. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. People who don't seem to know that they are a soul, that their consciousness goes way farther than the incarnation. We pinch ourselves to know we are alive in this life. The soul is in the heart. The mantra is, "I am loving awareness." Identify with loving awareness and go through the veil, the consciousness veil. Going through that veil is part of spiritual practice. And the main part of dying. 

Make friends with change. There is change in the body: it's strength, memory. Death is change, just another change. If you identify with your soul, death is a snap. Your soul recognizes birth, death, birth, death. Death is another step towards home. 

Something has happened to me as a result of my meanderings through the realms of consciousness over the past 30 years that has changed my attitude towards death. A lot of the fear that death generated that led to denial has gone from me. Death does not have to be treated as an enemy for you to delight in life. Keeping death present in your consciousness, as one of the greatest mysteries and as the moment of incredible transformation, which imbues this moment with added richness and energy that is otherwise used up in denial. Death is not an error, it is not a failure, it is taking off a tight shoe. I delight and enjoy being with people when they are dying because I know I'm going to have the opportunity to be in the presence of truth. So when I sit with somebody, the first thing I have to do is open myself up to all my reactions to their predicament. All of it. All the pain of it. Grieve for the other person's loss. And when they feel heard in the grief, then we can start to meet behind the grief. And I'm faced with the paradox that I, as a human, with a human emotional heart, want to take away your suffering, but at the same moment there is another part of me that understands that suffering is grace. That suffering is the sandpaper from the spiritual point of view that is awakening people. And once you start to spiritually awaken, you reperceive your own suffering and start to work with it as a vehicle for awakening. My guru says, "God comes to the hungry in the form of food."

I said to Hanuman, what are you monkey? And Hanuman answered, "When I don't know who I am, I serve you. When I know who I am, I am you."

We've lived longer than we think. We are traveling through lives. What did you learn in this life? Considerable joy. Considerable joy.

So you love something and you become one with it. All of us, one. All of us, one. Yeah. One consciousness. One consciousness. And that's the way in which the world could right itself, starting with your peace, your love, your compassion, and go from there. And then, love everything. Everything. 

Let's all walk each other home. 

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Thank you, Ram Dass.
Thank you, Doug.

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